Class is something you either have or have not and I firmly believe it. Living in Liverpool I am bombarded with this shit everyday. All doing the things listed below. Is it any wonder I prey on naive virgins with rich parents?
I like a woman with class. I don't deny it. When I see a girl lacking class I’m completely turned off. I don't care how 'up for it' they are or how 'animal like' they are in the sack. Without class my beast stays firmly in its cage. So good news, if you are one of these girls. Here is some advice.
1) Don't yell to your friends half way up the road... If you really have to yell to get their attention, DON'T under any circumstances; continue the conversation by yelling without making an effort to walk closer to the other person. No one wants to hear your conversation shouted back and forth from different ends of the road.
2) Close your mouth when you aren’t talking (and especially when eating)... A girl that stands with her mouth open is not attractive. It makes you look like an experienced prostitute who has geared up for easy access. I had the misfortune of watching someone eat who left their mouth open during the whole process... No wonder she was so thin, all the food literally, just fell from her mouth to the table. After witnessing that disgusting spectacle all the food I had previously eaten almost joined it. So shut your mouth... it’s not hard to do.
3) Don't wear a tracksuit... I can't stress this point enough. It makes you look rough. Dog rough. You really aren’t impressing anyone. Here is a tip, burn the tracksuit... If you took the tracksuit off and haven’t burned yourself alive, congratulations. You have just made the first step. If you didn't then you are dead, and the gene pool is cleaner without you.
I'm not saying you have to walk around in a ball gown or high heels and a mini skirt, just clothes that you wouldn't be embarrassed walking into a church (or mosque or equiv place of worship) in. The smart side of casual.
4) Don't spit and don't swear... Self explanatory really. Girls who spit when they are talking to you (spitting on the ground. If they spit in your face it's considered bad manners no matter how classy you are) or swear almost every single sentence are not attractive. Personally I also can't stand girls talking openly about sex. When said in playful, flirting hints the conversation can be great, but when openly talked about... "I was shagging this guy last night... has the biggest cock I’ve ever seen! Like a tube of Pringles. kinda hurt! Then he whipped it out and came all over my face...” whoa, that's not what I want to hear. Should I be impressed or intimidated? I'm not sure, but I was disgusted.
5) Sit with your legs closed... You're not Sharon Stone and we don't want to see it.
6) Don't walk like John Wayne... Walk delicately with one foot on front of the other. It gives your arse an attractive wiggle. Stomping around like a sumo wrestler however, is not attractive.
7) Last but not least, don’t drink pints.... If you do enjoy the taste of lager or cider drink it in half’s. If for financial reasons you are forced to drink a pint then for god’s sake drink it slower than your boyfriend. The number of girls being carried home by their boyfriends is outrageous. In fact it’s probably not their boyfriend.
That’s pretty much all the advice I can be bothered dispensing from this magical well of wisdom known as my head. If you can adhere to these seven rules (and perhaps keep your legs shut long enough so that the hospital can catch up with the crap epidemic) then woman kind will be better off altogether.
Iron Fist
No comments:
Post a Comment