The Fantastical New Adventures of Wonder Man and Special Kid

It was a cloudy morning in Liverpool. Visibility was poor as smog from the newly opened tracksuit factory rolled over the burned out houses. Trev and Jes were down in the basement sorting through all of the electronics that had they had liberated from the tyranny that was Currys.Digital. Trev and Jes had dedicated their life to fighting these evil corporations. But these were not regular freedom fighters, for they had a secret identity known only to each other and the Scotland yard crime lab... When Trev and Jes put on their magical la-coste tracksuits they become none other than "Wonder Man" and "Special Kid". Two men sworn to help provide crime, Keep students out the city, and to fight the elderly in large groups.



After performing a "feng Shui Reduction" on the house across the road wonder man and special Kid received a call on the special red telephone from Jack who owned the local pub. Jack had received some special news that one of the local teenage girls had fallen pregnant again and there was a one in 20 chance it could belong to either Wonder man or special kid which meant they could end up paying the dreaded child support!!! Also he wanted drugs.. This time enough was enough, They were becoming tired of moving house so they decided to fire bomb the local council office that was processing the last 3 claims for child support made against our heroes. Also they could complete another of their daily tasks by shouting abuse and throwing stones at the students that lived down the road.

This plan of action would take weeks of planning so our two heroes fell back on their training and over the next few hours had managed to shoplift/liberate all the tools needed to complete their mission. 1 Gallon of petrol, 7 Glass Bottles, 6 Pack of socks to use as a fuse, Two DVD recorders, A carton of cigarettes and a gold watch an elderly man was strangely reluctant to give up.

What Happened next was reported in the news. While trying to light the petrol bombs a flame strayed near their magical tracksuits and wonder man and special man disappeared in a fiery explosion winning them this years Darwin awards and a special local award for avoiding the dreaded child support.

The two DVD recorders were also lost in the accident, which caused great public sadness.

The End?

Yes, Yes it is. Although I'm sure wonder man and special kid will be replaced by a young hero in training who right now is smoking weed and listening to repetitive dance music blasted out his phone whilst on the bus. And we shall call him "obnoxious Boy" and his fellow sidekick "incontinence kid". Together they make an unbeatable duo, the little shits.

Iron Fist.