The only survival guide you’ll ever need – Soon to be released!!

 For a long time I have had it requested of me to compile my memories from my vast experience with the female kind.  At long last, 7 minutes of constant nagging by a giant mass of hair with legs known as Raging Horse (Tonto), I have begun work on the only book you will ever need to read.

 Whether you want to boost your confidence or simply want to have copious, care free, sex with a multitude of beautiful women, this book will help you! (Author’s note – ‘If you want to purchase this book with the intention of merely boosting your confidence in various aspects of your life, please replace it on the shelf and return when you have grown a pair of balls).



 Incorporating key methodology as described in my award winning self-help book, ‘How to cope with your child and ADD’ (also known as ‘Sit down and shut up or I’ll pop you in the mouth’), I turn a survival guide into a handbook prized by Australians, Germans, Welsh, and other famously ugly countries….except the French of course, who we all know aren’t real people.

 I introduce revolutionary new techniques that are guaranteed to turn you from a timid, cat loving, person into a ravenous, irresistible, badger loving, man! (Results may vary and are in no way endorsed or guaranteed)

 There are no pills involved (unless you can get them cheap), no membership fees and absolutely no draw backs.

 In the book we look at confusing topics such as;

 The Perfect Compliment Sandwich

Ever since my plane crashed over Aberystwyth and I was forced to grow up raised by all female bunnies, I have perfected the use of the compliment sandwich which I share, exclusively, with you.  The basis of the compliment sandwich is simple, if you need something done and you are incapacitated (perhaps feeding the mail man to your pet badger) you simply need to call the nearest woman.  By complimenting one of her features, demanding the task is completed, and closing the sandwich with another compliment, you will see outstanding results.  For example;

"I feel I could look at your eyes for hours and get lost in their glow, make me a cheese sandwich, your boobs look like two pert love cushions vying for freedom."

 Lying Convincingly

This has been done drastically wrong in the past, but with my help I can give you the poker face of all poker faces when it comes to confounding that vicious harpy!

An example of this can be found when you are out with the boys.  If you know you plan to be home for midnight, tell your woman you’ll be back by three in the morning.  That way you have time for other lady friends and still not be late back.  What’s more is when you come strolling in a few hours early, using the excuse “how could I possibly have fun without you?  I missed you.” You have a solid ground to defer back to if caught in a bigger lie in the future.  This is another ideal chance to use the Compliment Sandwich to great effect.

Other exciting topics are;

Women and Shopping

PMS – the hidden beast

Why women love gay men

Women – shallow or just stupid

And many more!!!

 Men of Britain rejoice, the answers are here.

 Britain refers exclusively to England and Scotland only as we all know Wales is not a real country, it’s a principality - which in short means the Welsh are owned by the English and are therefore not deemed as people, merely encourageable sub-human slaves.

The author in no way recommends you follow any of the advice contained within the afore mentioned book and is in no way liable for any heel related injuries, castrations, sexual harassment suits, or polar bear maulings.

Dr. Jenkins is not a real doctor and has not copied these ‘suggestions’ from any of his students