The Life and Times of Admiral Taverns (Chapter one)

Beginning of an era

Before man discovered that war could be carried over vast distances through the use of high powered rockets, long before the monkey navigated bomb, even before the badger learned to mate with armadillos to provide an offspring of unbeatable proportions, there was a breed of man known as ‘sea-farers’.

Man first learned to love the sea as they could relate it to their wives when on long journeys (rough, temperamental, holds a lot of wood and you always get the suspicion that you’re not the first and definitely won’t be the last to ride her). Never the less, man loved her.



One man, more than others was a great admirer of her beauty and never ending views of majesty not captured on land.  With endless career opportunities aboard the countless ships braving the temptress that is the great green, Taverns would have been a fool not to have embarked on a course that was set to change his life forever.

The life of a pirate is a tough life, but for 14 year old Taverns it was a dream filled adventure, full of cut-throat fights, daring rescues, camaraderie and the chance to test out his newly acquired badger kung-fu.

Now I know this may seem odd.  However, back in the days before Taverns became Admiral of his own mongoose fleet, skills were sold as readily packaged articles of clothing.

Among his array of skill titles, more commonly referred to as ‘skittles’, his badger kung-fu belt was his most prized possession and completed his quite most ensemble.  Dressed in whippet speed boots, regular trousers (for he wasn’t a rich child), a light open necked shirt crafted by the all seeing mole people of Kambo (a most fortuitous people, renowned for their ability of working in the darkest of places – which is quite handy as Kambo is a province of the darkest place on Mirth, Scootlan), a jacket made of mongoose fur and protects from the bitterest of winds and a hat he sometimes wears, made from nothing but a ducks wing.  Not that it holds any special power; the duck was just a good friend of his who left the wing to him in his will.

Join us next week where we join our hero seeking his very first mission aboard one of the many vessels that can be found on Pickle Wharf.



Fixer Jenkins