Last week I heard on the radio that Togo the penguin was stolen from a zoo on the Isle of Wight. This was followed by a plea for his safe return and some listener’s comments. Straight away a man phones up to say that whoever took this baby penguin away from its mother should be shot. SHOT!!! For Christ’s sake that’s a bit fuckin' extreme. To say that someone who stole a penguin should be lined up against a wall and shot. Some people are way too sensitive. Man has been doing this shit for years and no one even gave a shit. It’s not like he was a rapist or murderer.
"But that doesn’t make it right! That penguin will be without its mother!"
You hypocritical fuck arse. I never saw you mount a moral crusade when you received that puppy last year. Oh no, that small dog will be without its mother.... same shit, different animal.
Ill bet that if a grumpy old man jumped up and down on the last remaining fish tailed blue scorpion it wouldn’t even make the local newspaper... unless he stung himself and died. People only ever seem to care when the animal is cute and fluffy. No-one cares if the animal looks bad, or tastes good.
Most likely this person only stole the penguin because they saw one being funny in the film Madagascar. I'll bet veil was on the menu a lot more before bambi fucked things up
"Oh no, your eating bambi!!!!"
I bet veil was tastier before then too. (Corection - Bambi was not a cow... must have been drunk)
"Damn this veil tastes good!"
"Of course sir... That’s because this particular meat is guilt free... just like lamb"
It’s the same with fox hunting. If there were giant spiders that lived on your land who occasionally feasted upon a lamb, no one would object to using large packs of hounds and some pissed up jockeys to go rip the beast limb from limb.
So really in an effort to even things out, Disney should make a film about a wise cracking scorpion and a heroic snake. Only then will the education / brainwashing we provide for kids today will be level and all animals will be equal.
I don’t care what I eat... I really don't.
I'll eat venison, lamb, veil, mutton, steak, chops, venison, ribs, dogs, cats, foxes, badgers, horses and penguins. I’ll eat battery eggs from battery hens. I’ll eat battery hens. I'll wear cultured pearls... I really couldn’t care less. I am at the top of the food chain (technically cannibals are)
Last I heard, the reward for the damn penguin was at £5000. Way to spend the Zoo's money! You still have the breeding pair. Spend the money on alcohol and Viagra and let them have a mash-up. Give the money to me and let me have a mash-up, and ill create my own breeding pair. Far better than giving money to people who are starving to death. And I don’t negotiate with terrorists.
Auditions will be heard at my house....
Iron Fist
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