Mission Status:- Completed 10/09/05
Mission Detailed:-
Since the B-Teams excursion into the food production business they have gone bankrupt due to a national shortage of corn beef rendering them unable to continue with their specialty-Beefy fish. Thus confirming the suspicions of the trade descriptions officers.
Since filling for Bankruptcy the Restaurants “Something Fishy” have been sold for a nominal fee to a German Business man rumoured to be Sher Lindler, good friend of the two vigilantes. Secretly as part of the transaction the B-Team has been set the task of transporting essential supplies to the heart of Afghanistan. These supplies are rumoured to contain 2000 deluxe model Penetrator 3000’s and 500 Ejaculating Sammy’s manufactured by Dirty German empires Ltd. Under direction of Sir Sher Linder the B-team took to the road as couriers on American airlines with one way tickets to Afghanistan.
Much to the surprise of the wandering heroes, there was little call for giant sexual gratification products in a war torn country (who would have thought it). After the deal falling through it was up to the B-team to take advantage of the flourishing Afghanistan Black Market. This led to an extensive marketing campaign (with the use of a megaphone and promises of a revolutionary home defense utility) to distribute products to Afghan warriors as Long Purple Riot Batons and acid spray guns. Also marketed was the Ejaculating Sammy water storage facilities for long desert campaigns.
As a result of the widespread failure of what turned out to be a batch of prematurely Ejaculating Sammy’s in the Afghan independent army, the B-team was offered a Lucrative, yet dangerous mission by the British Army to capture the extremely valuable Golden toilet (The super flush 5000) , one of only three toilets known to exist in Afghanistan. Other known toilets are noted to be the super flush 6000 and Afghanistan. The toilet was tracked by highly volatile sniffer Dolphins to Osama Bin laden’s secret bathroom.
An assault committee was organised for Tuesday the 7th headed by the recently promoted general mustard and captain Wilson. The final plan was to train 500 killer Gophers known to be a rare breed found predominately on the golf courses of southern America.
During a journey Incompetent American soldiers rumoured to be high on Anthrax, were instructed by American “Intelligence” to shoot to kill on a rapidly approaching team of British military Gophers armed to the hilt and approaching the mission destination.
This lead to the B-team deciding on what was termed “operation Mario bounce” , this entailed using the provided army pogo sticks and the captured Afghan Space Hoppers to bounce into the front entrance dressed as plumbers to retrieve the valuable toilet.
As luck would have it the B-Team were declared national heroes. On arrival at Heathrow it was discovered that a well known Afghan Extremist known to his friends as Bin Man was still using the solid gold conveniences and thus captured after extensive questioning by American “Intelligence” (Questions followed the line of 1: Are you a Terrorist? and 2: Are you a Terrorist?).
After the B-Team Were identified by an Off Duty Retired Lawyer, they panicked, dropped the toilet, Broke through securities dressed as nuns and ran to the Hills.
As of now the B-Team have been declared Outlaws and their whereabouts are still unknown.
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