Mission Status: - completed
Mission Detailed: -
Since the last mission delegated to the B-Team international Vigilante group (I.E us) ended in disaster with the destruction of a priceless golden Afghan toilet the B-team have been forced to keep up their disguise as two hormonally challenged nuns and have since sought sanctuary in a small yet incredibly rich nunnery off the west coast of England.
During their daily duties of delivering tea to the older members, the B-Team happened to stumble upon 150 tonnes of packages marked Charlie and Basil and immediately suspected something was a bit untoward. When asked about the items in question, chief nun, sister Clary Marence stated that Charlie and Basil left their packages as a donation to the fundraising appeal for the new and highly essential nunnery health, beauty spa and firing range.
The B-team in return for their sanctuary were then told that they must serve god by travelling to Columbia as part of a new scheme, namely the ‘new recruit forced missionary program’ created by none other sister Blue Nunn. Sister Nunn was unavailable to give direct details to the B-team as she has recently been transferred to the Betty Ford Nunnery USA to try and kick “the Habit”.
The B-teams mission: the safe transportation of 200 tonnes of fresh green tea and Columbian sugar to help with the renovation of 10 churches around Southern England. If the mission was refused our heroes risked expulsion from gods playground and the loss of all discounts at Nuns R Us (there’s millions of Habits all under one roof-it’s called Nuns R Us x3).
Upon arriving and meeting the world renowned Father E. HackJacket, Iron Fist and Raging Horse hit a bloody big Snag. The recently appointed, pope Benecol 1664 had taken an increased interest in the constant requests for private jump jets and speed boats to aid ageing worshipers get to church and as such had decided to drop in unannounced to oversee day-to-day activities.
On offering a Sweet Green Tea of his own recipe Father HackJacket proceeded to convince pope Benecol into granting his church the 500 rolls of cellophane which HackJacket put down to a temporary measure to fix a leaking roof in the confessions box.
Pope 1664 was so impressed with what he could remember of his visit that he insisted on helping the B-team in carrying the packages of a revolutionary healthy alternative to sugar and the green tea which is said to aid imagination and brain relaxation. Unfortunately the Columbia authorities were unaware of the life saving qualities of these packages and released the sniffer dogs which took an instant dislike Benecol and proceeded to relieve him of his duties (permanently).
In the confusion Iron fist and Raging horse managed to load the packages onto the plane unnoticed with the help of two fork lift trucks and an American holiday maker known to work for US Intelligence.
Mid way through the flight the red emergency lights were initiated after Raging Horse and Iron Fist took it upon themselves to offer the captain and his crew “A Nice Cup Of Tea”.
The B-team are thought to be residing on a deserted island, only surviving by eating green tea leaves. Their exact whereabouts are as yet still unknown (by both themselves and the authorities).
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