Friday 6 September 2013

Mission: To Escape Island El Muerte ( Preferably to Australia)


 Mission Status: Completed
 Mission Detailed:-


 After cornering the world market in "Green Tea leaves" we find our heroes deserted on a far away land with only a ton of Easyjet and enough hallucinogenic herbs to persuade Hendrix to put down his harp.

 Following their ordeal and a few dozen cups of green tea B-Team members decided the only way to satisfy their incredible case of the munchies was to eat the leather from their shoes. After two days of chewing rubber soles they realised that shoes are much more use in searching for alternative snacks.

Luckily the B-Team had come prepared with survival packs. These consisted of two electric razors, one petrol powered lawnmower and a microwave oven. Also in the B-Teams armory was a copy of the Bible in Arabic which proved invaluable as in propping up their lawnmowers.

As any good woodsman knows the first thing to do in this situation is "Prey" "run" "drink sea water" then trade you fallen easyjet as the golden eagle, sent as a gift from the gods to a mystified local tribe.

 After accepting the trade we graciously took his daughters in payment. After fulfilling every natural desire and a couple of unnatural ones it was time for Raging horse and Iron fist to scarper!!!! Forever written in the islands folklore the B-team members are now recognised as mystic ghosts sent down from the gods to multiply, eventually doubling the islands population in the space of three days.

 Legend has it that Raging horse had three heads and a long beard to trap prey (known in folklore as Tribeardoadabeleagous). Iron fist was known as the man with six breasts ten feet tall (Thebeardedenormonagous to the locals) used to lull prey into a false sense of security.

 The hero's left on a small wooden raft glued together with pva glue and chewing gum. Only realising mid Atlantic the shortcomings of their design, Picking Pva glue dramatically reduces the boredom of journeys. Having two small toothpicks as oars also was a small design fault. After circling the island twice the two escapees decided to unpack the motor boat from the plane. Aided by two lawnmower engines the B-team were able to transport their microwave to Australia in record time, only loosing their Arabian bible due to weight restrictions. We would like to point out that this is in no way connected to the four all-day breakfasts and three kegs of Home brew consumed purely for medical reasons the previous night.

 The Exact whereabouts of The B-Team are still unknown, but the bible was recovered.

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